


Will You Remember?

by miera



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 19:56:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20395279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miera/pseuds/miera
Summary: John Sheppard has been dreading this moment for years.





	Will You Remember?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a piece of a Sparky plot bunny I got a loooong while ago and have never written more of. Set post-S3.
> 
> Please do not comment asking for more of this story. Any comments like that will be deleted.

A noise woke him. John grumbled, thinking the dog was trying to rouse them, but it was still dark and he was warm and comfortable and didn’t want to leave the bed. He reached for Elizabeth, but his hand just found empty blankets. 

“Lizabeth?” He pried his eyes open. She was standing next to the bed, looking around in confusion. Adrenalin raced through him and he sat up, now wide awake. “Elizabeth?”

A huffing noise came from the floor. Sparky was standing near Elizabeth, looking up at her with worried brown eyes. He wagged his tail tentatively and then whined when Elizabeth took a step away from the dog, her back pressed to the dresser.

She hadn’t had an episode in a few weeks, thanks to the new treatment the SGC had found, but sometimes alcohol and sleep combined to knock her memory for a loop. John moved slowly, getting out of bed and keeping his hands in plain sight. “Elizabeth, it’s okay. You’re safe.” 

Her eyes darted around the room frantically. “Where am I? What is this place?”

“It’s home. This is our house, in Colorado Springs.” 

“Our house?” She seemed to notice the fact that he was wearing nothing but pajama pants and she was in a nightshirt. Her eyes widened as she noticed the wedding ring she was wearing. “But I don’t… I don’t know who you are!”

John froze, dread coiling in his gut. “Elizabeth, it’s me. It’s John.” 

Her blank expression was the most frightening thing he’d ever seen. “Elizabeth? Is that… is that my name?”

He could barely get his voice to work. “You don’t know?”

She shook her head. “I can’t remember anything.” 

Her eyes were pleading with him for answers, for help. His own heart was nearly pounding out of his chest. He wasn’t ready for this. But Elizabeth needed him.

“Your name is Elizabeth. I’m your husband, John. You’re safe, okay? I promise, you’re safe. I won’t hurt you.” She relaxed a tiny bit and he gestured to the nightstand. “I’m going to call your doctor so we can get some help, all right?” 

John fumbled for the phone, hitting the speed dial while Elizabeth stood with her arms folded over herself, watching him anxiously. 

A groggy voice answered on the fourth ring. “Yeah?”

“It’s John,” he said into the phone. “It’s… it happened.” 

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. “I’ll meet you there,” Carson said and hung up.

*~*~*~*~*

It took all of John’s patience to convince Elizabeth to dress so they could go to the hospital. He didn’t bother telling her where they were really headed. He saw the terror sweep over her as they entered the gates to NORAD but he drove too quickly forward for her to consider jumping out of the car. 

Mitchell had sent a detachment of SGC Marines to meet them, but Colonel Lorne was leading the group. It had no effect; Elizabeth didn’t recognize anything and she was shaking visibly as Lorne flanked her on one side and John walked on the other, escorting her into the base. He tried to reassure her, telling her lowly that it was okay, she was safe, but it didn’t seem to be helping now, not with heavily armed men surrounding them. 

Carson was waiting in the infirmary. He introduced himself to Elizabeth as if they were strangers, explained that he was going to examine her and asked her to sit down. Lorne pulled the Marines back to give them some room and Carson approached John. “She doesn’t remember anything?”

“No. It’s all gone this time, like you thought. She doesn’t know who she is, or I am.” 

“We knew this was coming, John.”

“We thought it was coming,” he replied, trying to keep his voice down. “It’s different having it happen right in front of you.” 

Carson’s expression turned sympathetic. He put his hand on John’s shoulder for a moment before turning back to Elizabeth. He asked general questions about how she was feeling, took her blood pressure and so on while John paced.

He thought back to yesterday - had it really been a single day? Elizabeth had dragged him to some arts and crafts show at the fairgrounds, as she did every year. She and her mother had gone to those shows during the fall together and she liked carrying on the tradition. John was always more interested in the food while Elizabeth lingered over pottery and weird artwork. One year she insisted on purchasing a huge red metal star to hang on the side of the house. This year it was a blue bowl with ugly green blobs on the sides. 

The bowl was still wrapped in brown paper, the bag sitting on the floor in the foyer of the house. When they got home last night, they left their purchases there. Elizabeth had been complaining of being cold so John got a fire going while Elizabeth grabbed herself a glass of wine. He had spread the blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the fireplace and the two of them had sat there until the wine was gone and so were most of their clothes. 

He closed his eyes, the memory of Elizabeth spread out on the blanket vivid in his mind. Her bare skin practically glowed in the firelight before he started to taste her for what felt like hours, working her up slowly until she was desperate and writhing against his mouth until he let her come. When she came back to herself she had rolled him onto his back and straddled him. The firelight picked out the strands of gray in her hair as she moved. His hands covered her everywhere he could reach until she came a second time and took him with her. 

Eventually they had to get up and eat something. John let Sparky out into the yard and they cleaned up and went to bed. 

It was hard not to wonder if last night would turn out to be the last night of his marriage. 

*~*~*~*~*

The click of heels on the floor signaled that Dr. Fraiser had arrived. “How is she?”

Carson looked up from his tablet. “Physically she’s fine, as usual, but her entire memory has been wiped. She has no recollections of her past, even before the SGC.”

“The MRI?”

“Useless as always,” Carson grumbled. The two physicians shared a look before turning to him. 

“I know,” John sighed. 

“The paperwork is all signed,” Carson reminded him unnecessarily. “Elizabeth made this decision while of sound mind. All you need to do is give the okay and we’ll perform the procedure.” 

Carson handed him a clipboard, where Elizabeth’s medical proxy form was already waiting. Her signature was scrawled across the bottom, dated two years ago. Carson had spent a lot of time refining the procedure he was going to attempt since then, but there was still a risk. Elizabeth’s memory might not come back. Worse, she might end up brain-dead. 

They had argued for weeks when Carson first told them about Elizabeth’s prognosis and the procedure. John had been against the risk, for once, while Elizabeth had been ready to go through with the surgery. Eventually they compromised, but Elizabeth had wanted this. 

John signed the form and handed the clipboard back. “I need a minute with her.” 

“Of course,” Janet said. “We’ll start getting things ready.” 

John walked over to his wife. She looked smaller than she should. Elizabeth had always stood tall, facing anything that got thrown at her with her spine stiff and her head up. Now she was hunched over, her hands clasped together in her lap, watching him. “Do they know what’s wrong with me? Why I can’t remember?”

“Yes.” John took a breath. Unable to stop himself, he reached over and placed his hands on top of hers, needing to touch her one last time. “You were hurt, a few years ago. You’ve been having memory problems for a while. I know you don’t remember it but we talked about this. There’s a procedure the doctors are going to try.” 

“Will it restore my memories?”

“That’s the idea.”

He tried to say it lightly, but those big green eyes of hers saw through him. Even now she could read him so well. “But it might not work.”

“No. It’s experimental. There are risks.”

She looked down at her lap. His hands were still over hers and he had to force himself not to lean in and put his arms around her. 

Her back straightened as she sat up, and even without her memories, he saw the Elizabeth Weir he knew and loved in the way she squared her shoulders. “All right, then.”

John reached up and framed her face with his hands. Slowly, carefully, he leaned forward and kissed her lightly. She was tense and she didn’t respond but she didn’t pull away either. “I love you,” he whispered. “I know you don’t remember, but… I didn’t always say it when I should have and now…”

She stared at him, unable to help him in this moment. He was a stranger to her right now. But she nodded. “Will you… will you stay with me?”

“Always.” 

*~*~*~*~*


End file.
